wish

sometimes i really wish my phone didn't turn off at eleven . maybe then my 11:11 wish would come true .. jus wish it was that simple . all i'd have to do is ask , and it would happen jus like that .

everytime my phone lights up , i'm always dissapointed because at this point i only wanna talk to one person .. so sorry if i don't text back . my life is insane right now and i jus want time to think . now if he texted me , things would be different . cause honestly all i want right now is to talk to him . not even be with him , jus need to talk to someone , and i feel like he always understands ..

life .

i honestly have no clue how i feel right now . i always said i loved the single life , but not so sure anymore .. talks with lance and andi today made me remember why i don't like being single . sure , when your single you get to flirt . which everyone loves to do . and you also get the attention of multiple boys . which is nice , not going to lie .

however , when your with someone , it's soo much better . you always have someone there for you , even when everything seems to be going wrong . you have someone to constanly remind you how important you are . you get to hear how much you mean to someone . you always have someone to hang with . you never have to be alone through anything . but most of all , you have someone to jus love . and get to be loved . that is what i miss . t h a t is why i'd much rather be commited to o n e guy rather than have free range .

reflect .

seems like so long ,

since i read your cute messages .

since i heard your voice .

since i felt so loved .

since you showed me you cared .

since you told me you loved me .

since you kissed me for the very first time .

since we talked about everything .

since we sang in the car .

since we had a blast doing nothing .

since they fell apart .

since they said goodbye .

since they stopped what was perfect .

sad thing is , wasn't that long ago ..

thankful .

i have soo much to be thankful for . (:

• amazing friends . been finding out who my real friends are lately . so glad i have them .
• thee best family . always there through thick and thin .
• the gospel . it's always been a part of my life , but i've relied on it more than ever lately .
• my car <3
• house
• shoes
• water
• electricity
• phone
• internet
• music
• hair , i'd be one ugly bald girl ..
• blankets
• my bed (:
• heat/ac
• colors
• boats (:
• doctors
• fireman
• policeman
• freedom
• hospitals
• military
• books
• education
• my job
• showers
• cologne (:
• mechanics

i could go on and on ..

there is sooo much to be grateful for these days ..

i'm jus thankful for life .

and e v e r y o n e in it . no matter who you are . thanks to everyone who has/is/or will be a part of my life . i love you all more than you know . (: happy thanksgiving ! hope everyone has had a great day , and finds time to thank the people in their life's for everything they've done . (:

thanksgiving .

i love thanksgiving time . today my family and i went and delivered meals to families who don't have money to have a thanksgiving dinner , or don't have families . we've done this for the past few years , but now that i'm older it's a lot more special . the looks on the families faces when they answer their doors is priceless . these people have such hard life's , yet they still are soo happy , and grateful for the smallest of things . i'm so glad my mom started having us do this every year . (:

then we went to my grandparents house . that's always my favorite part of thanksgiving . i love seeing the whole family and jus being able to talk about everything . i always get to hear the funnest stories . then comes football time . it's always fun to see the guys get all stressed and stuff . super fun . and shockingly thee cowboys won (; then 49ers , eagles . ehh

now , going black friday shopping with justin , kaylee , kyle , megan and spartacus (: super excited for that ! i jus love shopping , and it's even better when my favorite stores have everything half off . yeahh buddy (: i really need some shoes . and some jackets . and jeans . and perfume . and well everything (:

(:

trying .

why do i continue trying ? why can't i jus give up on people ? pet peeve : someone texts you about something pretty serious , you feel awful and text back , then no reply . hmm . thanks sooo much .

dear spartacus ,

since you think it's hilarious to read my blog , i will write you . (:
y o u my little friend need to stop hitting on tyson .
it's gross ... ! (;
also , we're going black friday shopping .
and you are going to push people so that i get those shoes . kay ?
thanks . your a doll .
also , your dad loves me , soo much (:
and so do you .
now , one more little thing ...

do my physics homework ... (: thankyouverymuch .

who .

who's the one who always texts you back ?

who's the one who always hears you out ?

who's the one who has forgiven you a thousand times ?

who's the one who has been there for you whenever you need them ?

who's the one who accepts you for y o u ?

who's the one who trusted you even when it was hard ?

who's the one who never gave up ?

who's the one who got lied to ?

who's the one that got walked over ?

who's the one who was wrong about you ?

ohh yeah . that was me ...

quotes .

fast forward .

let's

just

fast

forward

this

little

time

in

life .

i'm

jus

not

feelinn

it

at

thee

moment ...

the weekend . (:

friday--
lunch with thee friends
nap <3
get ready
megan's house
story's
caught up .
soo fun (:
blizzard
pizza
michelle's house
long talks
vampire diaries <3

saturday--
slept in
shopping
work
crazy customers
saw meg (:
chocolate fights
donuts in the parking lot with justin

sunday--
three months <3
church
meetings
homework
grandma's house (:
family dinner
talks with kels
ipads

weekend was pretty good .

officially had my license for six months which means i can finally drive with people . (:

three or "five" months with garry . (: seems like soo much longer . i'm so happy i'm with him . he's my world . love you garr ! (:

happy monday (:
 

trust .

trust is such a hard thing . seems like in the world today , there are very few people you can fully trust . i think my personal problem is that i trust too easily . i like to think that i can trust all of the people in my life , but sometimes that jus isn't true ..

i don't understand how people can lie about such simple things and not even see anything wrong with it . or maybe they jus think that keeping something from you isn't considered lying . well .. actually it is . personally , i would rather someone by straight up with me and tell me the truth , than find out through another source . when i have to find out something myself that you could have easily told me , it hurts . plainandsimple . it jus hurts . i wouldn't say it makes me mad , cause it takes a whole lot to get me mad . but it really hurts that i'm not respected enough to be told the truth .

looking back .

i find it crazy how fast things can change . e v e r y t h i n g changes in the blink of an eye it seems . and i wouldn't say that i'm too crazy about it . i kind of hate change actually . it scares me . looking back on everything that has changed in jus these past few months makes me wonder how much will change in the next few .

so many great things have happened this past little while . i feel like my entire life/perspective on life has changed , for the better . the other day i was going through my closet and i found so many interesting things that brought up so many memories . things like pictures , notes , even like little random things people have given me . at one point in time those little things meant so much to me , and then at some point i guess i jus kinda forgot about them .

same goes with texts . i was going through my phone today and i have a bunch of messages from like summer ! it's crazy how things have changed . in a way it seems like those conversations were forever ago , but i also remember them like they were jus yesterday . i love going through old texts/letters/messages . especially when your having an off day with someone , and you go back and are reminded of all of the good times , and sweet things they've said , makes you remember that even though you may be mad or upset with someone at the time , at one point they have made you soo happy . jus have to keep reminding yourself that so you can get through those hard times and remember that everything happens for a reason . (:

Sadie's (:

 11.12.11

 p e r f e c t day (:

pick up .

mall .

 

scavenger hunt--

pictures , videos , items .

piggy backs .

mall cops .

tight shirts .

family restrooms .

victoria secret .  

 get ready .

batman shirts .

pick up .

pictures , twice .

cafe rio .

secrets came out .

well , more like black mail came out .

bonding time .

inside jokes .

 dance .

see everyone .

go crazy on the dance floor .

debating over picture poses .

bathroom conversations .

group pictures .

more dancing .

couples pictures .

fist pumping .

slow dances . (:

kaitlyn's .

slideshow of everyone's video/pictures .

dessert nachos .

moreee pictures .

that's what she said .

awkward moment . (;

date night .

drop off .

and well , ya know . (:

let's jus say , thee best ending . (:

yesterday was insane , that's for sure . i seriously had soo much fun though . my group turned out to be pretty awesome , with an even better date . i was soo exhausted by the end . it definetly exceeded my expectations to say the least . best dance yet . definetly a night i'll never forget . <3

thanks garry , kaylee , scott , kaitlyn , jeff , lindsey , justin , kaitee , andrew , sarah , daniel , ben , and abby . (:

PS: 11/11/11 11:11 wish .... success . (:

11/11/11

sooo this day has been one that i've been waiting for , for like e v e r . call me crazy , but i'm a strong believer of 11:11 wishes . (: they may not always come true , buuuut i still wish . every day , twice a day , when i notice it's 11:11 , you better know i'll be wishinn . haha i'm kinda pathetic about it . especially when i miss it by like one minute . definetly a pet peeve .

so today on 11/11/11 11:11 AM , me and thee friends were all out at lunch , and shockingly i wasn't the only one to have an alarm go off at 11:10 reminding me ... looks like i'm not the only loser ... hah jus imagine ... me , kaitlyn , and kaylee jus standinn by the soda machines jus wishinn . it was pretty legit stuff . not sayinn what i wished for , or else it won't come true .. (:

soo next , the 11/11/11 11:11 PM wish .. (: this one was an even better setting ! haha michelle , mckenzie , and i were jus walking out of cold stone heading to our cars to go to kenzie's . it was funny , the whole world jus kinda stopped until 11:12 .. (: great moment . kinda like one of those moments of silence ? you know ? (:

i love 11:11 (: guess we'll see if this 11/11/11 stuff legit later ... (:

rushed .

this week has gone by sooo fast ! it's like insane . i still have so much to do , i jus don't know when . to do :

•shopping
-toms
-boots
-jeans
-hoodie
-shirt
-yellow jewlery
•finalize sadie's plans
•bank
•clean my car
•clean my room
•catch up on modern family (:
•make 11/11/11 worth remembering (:
and lastly ,
•make sadies thee best dance yet . (;

please tell me .

please tell me ...

why i get shut out .

why school starts soo early .

why the weekend goes by so fast , the week soo slow .

why we fight constantly , about nothing .

why i get jelous soo easily .

why i cry so much .

why lax season hasn't started .

why sadies is coming up so fast .

why it's soo freezing in my room .

why i have to grow up .

why i'm not good enough .

why , why , why . ):

sundays .

as much as i hate getting up and ready for church , i kinda sorta love it . you learn soo much about normal everyday things . testimony meeting's are the best too . one thing that really stood out to me was that every thing that i am/will go through in life , there will always be someone who fully understands me and the trials i am facing . i'm so glad to know that i will always have my savior to lean on during the good a n d bad times .

another thing that really stood out was how short life is , and that we all really need to live each day like it's our last . one of my very good friends told me today that her friend commited suicide last night . hearing this , and seeing how upset she was killed me . this is such a sad reality . as quickly as this trial was thrown at her , the same could be thrown at me or any one of my friends or loved ones . i have no clue how i would deal with someone i was close to , or anyone really , killing themselfs . like , if i knew what they were going through , would i be able to change their minds ? would i be able to help them realize how much they mean to soo many people ? death is such a hard thing , especially when it's intentional .

with that , i jus want e v e r y o n e in my life , whether your my best friend , family member , a friend , boyfriend , classmate , anyone . i'm so grateful to have each and every one of you in my life , i have no idea where i'd be without you guys . you have all helped me become the person i am today , and i owe each of you the world . basically , i hope a l l of you know how special you are to me , and know i'll always be there for you no matter what . that is a promise . (: whatever your going through , know that this girl will be the one to never give up on you , and always hear you out .

woke up at five
couldn't fall back asleep
got up at six
to school by six thirty /:
rehersal
hot chocolate run with ty , linds and kaylee .
on time to math for the first time in my life
talk with andi and michelle
slept in history
manz trying to be my counselor . hahah
lunch with the crew
choir
beg teachers to raise grades (:
plan sadies
buy shirts
work with my favorite's (:
sleepover (:
no school tomorrow ! whoo (:
weekend .. please be good <3

jus one of those nights .

don't you jus looove crying yourself to sleep ? i sure don't . i don't understand how the people you love the most can hurt you the worst . this jus doesn't seem right . i find myself getting hurt by you a lot lately . the thing is , i don't even do anything about it because i know how much i care about you , and i don't want to lose you . i guess everyone has a couple different sides to them . you do , that's for sure . 

side one: the one i question . the one a l l the girls love . the jock . the one that shuts me out instead of talking it out . the one who unintentionally upsets me by the simplest words . 

side two: the one i am crazy about . the one i can't get off my mind . the one i feel like i can tell everything to . the one that makes me laugh . the one who's a s t u d . the one who makes me smile until my cheeks hurt . the one that makes me cry by saying the cutest things . the one that i can't imagine my life without . the one i would do anything for . the one who's "my one and only"

side two is side two because two is better than one , everyone knows that . this side two guy , is the one i miss sooo much , the one i'm not giving up on , and the one that i love too much to let slip away . even though i see two sides , a l l of the amazing things about this boy cancel out the negative . pleaseletsmakethiswork .

jus had to let it out .. sorry guys . like i said , jus one of those days

pet peeves for the day:

alarms
icy windshields
packed parking lots
tardy bells
physics
teachers
spanish
snotty girls
plans being cancelled
not feeling like your a priority
end of the quarters
tests
laundry
slow texters

well .. that's enough for today . have a great day . (:

halloween weeekend .

so this past weekend was pretty great . a lot happened , and a lot of pictures were taken .

 they'll come later (:



friday:

school was blahh

no work (:

costume time .

lind's house to get ready

halloween party .

jacket ... hahhah

saw my f a v o r i t e person at the store .. ! << hate her .

haunted house .. i hate chainsaws s o o o much ):

lindsey's house with everyone

hot chocolate (:

long talks .

saturday:

slept in (:

vistiting thee fam .

costumes

hung with kels

decorated cookies (:

dinner with everyone

kaitlyn's party . (:

hung with spartacus , kaylee , linds , cristian , kylie , kaitlyn and collin .

drove around forever ..

got in like the middle of no where ..

copperton park .. sooo scary .

haunted church .

copper hills .

spartacus learned to drive ... also soo scary .

wes came for a bit , hahah fun times .

home , sweats time (:

suspicious text .. hah

go outside to see my entire car covered in seranwrap .

soo cute (:

goinn to sadies (:

sunday:

homework .
took forever to get all the stuff off my car .

built a mouse trap car .

carved pumpkins (:

monday:

school was fun (:

dressed up (;

skipped sixth

partied in spanish with parker and michelle

work /:

buuuut work turned out to be s o o o fun !

no one came in so we had some fun (;

marker fights , chocolate fights , changing names ,

bowls in the shirts (; hahahah

throwing candy at customers

favorite customers chase and lincoln came in ! (:

f u n day of work (:

nuhh night (:

basically it was a hectic weekend , a lot of memories made . pretty good halloween (: